Not so long ago, I promised that I’d be renovating a bookcase. Not long after that, I decided that I needed to get rid of said bookcase and the books I’ve held on to for years. I haven’t done either. However, I DID start to sort through my books last night and basically have decided that 95% of my books will be donated to my new local library.
In the process of sorting through my books, I noticed a hilarious theme. I have cheesy romance novels, coffee table books, political thrillers, political text books, and yes, books about the Kennedy family (apparently, I mentioned in HS that I loved Jackie and from then on, every gift for the next few years was a Kennedy book). These would all be weird enough, but there’s another category that I must mention.
A woman doesn’t get into her mid-30s, while remaining single without buying or being given a horrifying amount of “Be Single, Be Happy” or “Don’t Worry, He’s Right Around the Corner” books. I’ve got everything from The unGuide to Dating to How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World to The Search for Significance to In Search of a Proverbs 31 Man. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve only read about half of half of these books. I always appreciate the thought that went into the gift and trust me, I’ve even bought a bunch of these myself.
Having said all that, when it comes down to it, self-worth doesn’t come from a man, but it doesn’t come from a book, either! Each of these books was written with an audience in mind, but truly, the person writing the book is writing it for themself; sure the book may touch someone’s life and provide them with helpful tips, but really, a gal needs to implement the things that work for her. Confidence comes from within and being secure in your own skin and that can’t be taught. There have been times in my life when I’ve been sad about my singlehood, but right now, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have the freedom and lifestyle that I have now if I had a husband and family! And that’s something that I’ve learned to accept and be happy about! Hopefully, one day the tables will turn, but in the meantime, life is great, so you know what? I’m getting rid of those books!
(I will say this, I really enjoyed The Five Love Languages for Singles. I’ve heard that the regular, couples one is awesome, too!)
So it seems that I’m not the only 30-something that gets these books. ha ha ha. Well I’m glad that I’m not alone in that sense.
Absolutely! We’re in this together! : )
Did you ever read, He’s Just Not That In To You? I read that one about 6 years ago. I obviously didn’t help me either
I didn’t read that book, but someone once bought me the book “Your Cat’s Just Not That Into You” as a joke! I’m sure I still have it around somewhere since I just can’t seem to toss books out. Ha!
Proud of you GF. You are the best. I really mean it.
Love you and am so appreciate your encouragement!!!
It seems to me that even the most successful people who love their careers and claim they are too busy for a relationship, still want one. I guess we humans like to couple up. I think you’re doing all the right stuff by just loving life. That’s how you’ll meet the right guy. That said, I did have someone tell me once that if you write down the top 100 qualities you’re seeking for in a mate and put that list as a sort of bookmark in a favorite book, you’ll be surprised at what happens. How can that be? It’s not a process that can be scientifically measured, but probably doesn’t hurt to try. My very best to you! Marly
I made a similar list years ago and it’s hilarious to look at it now… My non-negotiables are far fewer than they once were!
Oh, that’s too funny! My cousin, in response to people saying she was too picky, said all she was really looking for was breathing and direct deposit. Sounds do-able. She ended up marrying a sweetheart of a guy too. I hope the same for you too.
You don’t need those books – get rid of ‘em! You are fantastic just as you are and I’m glad you know that!
Thanks, friend!
Good for you! I was cleaning out some stuff this weekend and found my hilarious copy of “The Secret Language of Single Women”. I did put it in the yard sale pile but it had some really funny points! Some of those books are really quite funny to read outloud with a glass of wine and some seriously sarcastic girlfriends.
Oh, I’ve been there! Worse than the books on singleness/dating is the advice from everyone else. During introductions at my new Bible study the other week, I mentioned that I wasn’t married yet (we were directed to share our marital status and number of kids). Immediately two of the women told me, “there’s still time.” I’m sorry, did I appear desperate or worried about this? I was just sharing what we were told to share!
I love this post and I love being friends with someone who lives life to its fullest. I’m telling you, you’re a role model, dude! When i grow up, i want to be like you (-: