JUMPSUITS

When I was in junior high during the late 80s, I began to become more opinionated about certain things. Like a major brat, I was always picking on my mom for the way she dressed or did her hair. I was 12 or 13 and I KNEW IT ALL.

One night, my brother (who is three years younger) and I were watching Saved by the Bell an educational program in the family room, and my mom, who had been out shopping, decided to put on a fashion show with the intent of impressing us with her new style, I’m sure. I’m certain we were being real jackholes (thanks, Andy Cohen!), so she decided to make a real scene and come prancing out of her room like she was on a catwalk. She was wearing a white belted jumpsuit with a royal blue shoulder-padded blazer with white cuffs (I can still VIVIDLY remember this!) and when we didn’t give her the attention that she thought she deserved, she said:

“DON’T I LOOK BITCHIN?”

I am NOT kidding you when I say that my brother and I SCREAMED! Moms did NOT say naughty words… She literally had to sit us down and explain that when she was our age that just meant “cool.” You would have thought that she had dropped an f-bomb on us…

I’ll never forget that night for as long as I live…especially since fashion is cyclical and jumpsuits are back once again - I can’t see one without thinking to myself “she looks bitchin.”