I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but the Gentleman Caller lives in Seattle. We’ve been friends for 7 years, so I knew him pretty well before we began dating. The distance didn’t freak me out…I knew he was worth it.
However, as much fun as we’ve been having, I’ve learned a few things, number one being:
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE FREAKING HARD!
We have great conversations and exchange thoughtful emails and have agreed that we can’t put too much pressure on visits for being perfect. I know some people who have done this successfully (and so does he), but I feel like there are still things we could do better.
The longest long distance relationship I had was between La Canada and Sierra Madre. I only love Local Boys! LOL! Love you friend, and it was so GREAT to talk to you this morning.
My husband and I dated long distance (500 miles) for about 3 years while we finished school. I think what helped us was realizing that we could never have that ideal fall asleep in each other’s arms relationship every night and just not dwelling on it. We enjoyed the time we did get to spend together and when we were apart we enjoyed getting to know each other. We still look back on those years apart very fondly. All sorts of inside jokes exist because of them. We also realized early on that there was a definite end date to how long our long distance relationship was going to last (we both had school to finish) and that end date helped me realize that it wouldn’t be this hard forever. That being said sometimes you can’t just drop everything and start a new life somewhere else just to see if it works out. I think for me if I didn’t know we were going to end up getting married after about the first year of long distance I wouldn’t have been able to keep it up. It was really really hard to be apart that much. But now that I write that I realize I probably would have kept trying just because I knew I loved him so much. But that is just me.
YES! My husband and I were in a long distance relationship both before AND after we were married. We got married after dating for only 18 days. He was living in Miami at the time and I was in Los Angeles. Most of our very brief courtship was through the phone and email and even after we got married, we stayed in touch via phone until I could pack my belongings and move to Miami. It was very, very hard but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Even now, I can tell just by the inflection of his voice what his day was really like because that is all I had to go on at the very beginning. Plus, it took out a lot of the distractions. We really got to know each other and our real personalities instead of focusing on getting tipsy or physical.
Oh juicy!!! I didn’t know about this boy:-)
Before I met current husband, I was only in long distant relationships. They were fun, romantic, dreamy, and hard. One was just fun & way too far away to make anything work, one cheated and another I dumped for fear of him cheating because he was just way too cute for my own good, the last was a fiance. In the end I wasn’t willing to move to the state he lived. So none worked out for me, but but I did have a blast because we would meet in fun locations when we did see each other. It came down to they were just the wrong guys. I would have moved for a few of them, but they didn’t ask me to and I wasn’t about to go with no commitment. Then later as I got older, I didn’t WANT to move. I had my career and friends. I hope you figure yours out. Good luck!!
It’s SO crazy to me that you are doing the CA/WA long distance thing, just like I did!!! I am praying for you friend, as YES, it is soooo hard in some ways! To not have that day in/day out experience is just tough, because it does put so much more pressure on the limited time you have together on visits. BUT, it also makes those visits SO fun, doesn’t it? I mean, the anticipation and daydreaming and all that goes with those airport moments is kind of like a high sometimes, no!? I kind of miss those times… they are some of my sweetest memories of my dating days with Ryan! I don’t know that I have any awesome advice… just try to take the pressure off, be intentional about the time you DO have with him right next to you, and enjoy the ride… While it might seem a little counter-intuitive, the distance may actually help you to get to know each other on such a deeper level, because you really have to WORK at that intimacy from 1000 miles away! It takes major intentionality and creativity to be “present” in each other’s lives from afar! It’s not easy, and it can drive you crazy. Hang in there, hope we can steal some coffee time on your next visit. Praying for you friend!!! Happy for you!