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I Can't Sit Still

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so excited about something new that I want to do ALL THE THINGS and do them RIGHT NOW! But I'm also in a season where I realize that slowing down and taking a breather is a good thing. It's Spring and the sun is shining here in Southern California...I need to remind myself to soak it in and experience renewal rather than just relish in the rush of daily life.

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GIRL PRETTY VS. GUY PRETTY

On a business trip this week, I had the opportunity to grab happy hour with an old friend I hadn’t seen in about three years. We talked about life on the campaign, our careers since then, and life in general. Over beers in a trendy new spot, we rolled right into the rhythm of an old friendship. There was laughter, jesting, harassing another friend to come and join us, and discussions of politics and pop culture.

At one point, I made a comment about how beautiful our waitress was. He stopped, looked at her, and then said, “eh.”

I was SHOCKED.

This girl was stunningly beautiful. She had short cropped hair, but her skin was flawless and tan, her features petite, and she had eyelashes that went on for days. The moment I saw her, I instantly measured myself against her and found myself lacking. Such a stupidly normal chick thing to do, huh?!

When I looked at him and questioned his sanity, he just shrugged his shoulders and that’s when I realized that guys and girls view beauty in drastically different ways.

At one point years ago, I was quite a bit heavier. Thankfully, I gain weight proportionally and I’m tall…when I was younger, these extra curves made me feel very insecure, but as I got older, I grew more confident in spite of my weight…and I started getting attention from guys. Now, I would look at magazines and watch tv as much as anyone else and I knew that I did not have a killer body…but that really didn’t seem to be an issue for guys. I was told that I was funny and fun and that made me feel great. However, I DID NOT FEEL PRETTY AT ALL.

I find it fascinating how the sexes are wired so differently…I’d always assumed that beauty was beauty. But that just isn’t the case and we’ve got to stop comparing ourselves and judging ourselves and other women. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to us!

Have you ever had a conversation with a guy about what/who they find beautiful? Ever have any funny disagreements like this one? 

Comments

  1. Andrea says:

    Hi! I’ve been lurking for awhile, but I had to comment on this post! Yes, I think we all do look at “beauty” differently. My first reaction though, when your friend said “eh” and you mentioned she had short hair, was that it was a hair thing. So many guys (not saying it applies to your friend, but it was the first thing I thought) seem to fall into the “long hair=pretty, short hair= not so much” category. My 6 year old son (!) has started suggesting to me that I grow my hair out!! I’ve always had very short hair (as in pixie short) and my husband has always liked it. We are trying to figure out where this comes from with a 6 year old. Anyway, interesting post. Thanks and keep them coming!

  2. I’ve had those conversations and I’m always baffled. There’s no rhyme or reason to it!

  3. Jennylee says:

    your comment “she had short hair BUT”….of course i’ve always had short hair so i’m offended….just kidding about the offended part. Maybe he didn’t want to ooh and goo over another woman in front of you, what a gentleman!!

    and yes, Sean and i have conversations about this kind of thing and most of the time i think he’s just trying to not make me feel bad by agreeing with my assessment of a clearly beautiful woman.

  4. I get this totally! Sometimes I wonder how men find certain women attractive and I don’t. Biggest example my cheater ex husband. I always felt like I was so much prettier than her and it was almost more hurtful to be one upped by an average girl. Obviously I had good self esteem at the time. Now my son agrees she’s prettier. Granted he can’t find his mom attractive that would be weird. But he’s very focused on looks lately he’s 13 and I wish I could teach him to focus on personality it’s so much more important!!
    Ps: love your blog. Hope you’ll check out mine and let me know what you think.

  5. Yes – I used to work with 9 men and JUST me! It was crazy the girls they were into and I wasn’t seeing it…

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