I wrote a post for Beautifully Rooted a few months back about my singleness, desire for marriage and a family, and how I was encouraged by God’s promises. It was upbeat and filled with hope. Based upon the comments I read and responded to, I think it really touched some other women who were dissatisfied with their own place in life.
I hit a low spot this weekend and when I think about that post, it’s almost hard to believe the same person wrote it.
What started out as a funny conversation with a couple of friends about what makes me “intimidating” to men, led me to storm out, get in my car and sob uncontrollably the entire way home. I didn’t feel very filled with hope and in my nonsensical cries out to the Lord, I repeatedly said “I just don’t understand, I just don’t understand.”
Upon waking up the following morning, I felt less unsettled and know that no harm was meant and that I reacted a bit strongly (thanks to an extra glass of wine or seven). I wasn’t even depressed as I had been the night before and realized that I was probably just due for a good cry – but the feeling of not understanding remained.
I’m sure MANY of my friends are in that same boat…over health battles, failing marriages, miscarriage, infertility; the list goes on. And in the midst of the myriad things we’re all going through, the common theme is that we don’t understand why X, Y, or Z was happening because if there was an identifiable problem, we could likely find a solution.
And that’s what makes me low.