I just saw this on the good ole FB and it really resonated with me.
Kids are different now…rougher, tougher, brattier, sexually mature/curious, and independent. When I volunteered with the freshman girls at my church several years ago, I was STUNNED, SHOCKED, and EMBARRASSED by the things they told me.
But after reading this, I have to wonder…is it the kids who are different or the parents?
Thoughts?
Hysterical. And yes. I think it’s mostly the parents who are different. They stopped parenting.
That’s what I think, too!
SUCH a good article! Love that!
So, how do we keep from letting “our” kids become a part of the problem? Do we prevent them from having everything they want and monitor who they spend time with?
Exactly. It’s the parents! Not that we have or use a ‘woodshed’ but seriously, we are the strictest of all the parents around (NO you can’t watch PG 13 movies at 8 year old, NO you can’t have an X box, NO you can’t have a TV in your room) It’s amazing the things the kids get away with these days and all the “toys” they have from iPads to video games to smartphones because the parents are too busy playing best friend instead of Mom or Dad. Scary the effects on our future generations.
Kate
I think I’ll be a strict mom, too. I absolutely want to have fun and have my kids know that I love them more than anything, but I don’t think that love is shown through smart phones or other “stuff.” Bratty kids terrify me…if I’m lucky enough to have kids one day, my ultimate goal will be to raise them to be good and respectful!
Wow. The article sounds a lot like my growing up experience. Especially the weeding part.
Seriously though, I’ve often told my parents that they were taken advantage of too much because there was literally no one they wouldn’t help. If someone’s car broke down on the side of the road, it didn’t matter where we were headed my dad would pull over. (He always kept chains in the bed of his F250 in case someone needed to be towed off the highway.) I’m not even sure its necessarily a matter of being “strict” though I do think that’s lacking these days. To me, its more that parents seem to put a higher emphasis on “just worry about your own problems” instead of teaching compassion and putting the needs of others above yourself. (A healthy balance is important of course!)
This last weekend we were hit by a pretty crazy storm out of the blue in the DC area. My husband first thing on Saturday morning went to buy a chainsaw so he could help our retired neighbors clear the trees that had fallen in their yard and hit the corner of their roof. Its times like that when I love him the most!
Oh, I love that about your hubby! It sounds like you found a lot of the qualities in him that your dad had, too. : )
And I totally agree that we need to find that balance between compassion and the needs of others before our own. I find it so frustrating to see kids these days be so “me, me, me.” I want to smack them!
Times they are a changing! I was raised to be respectful & honest and we got punishednif we weren’t. Kids today have no fear of repercussions for any bad behavior and a lot of parents are too busy trying to not be “mean” that they lose the respect of the children they are raising because they want to be the “cool parents”. I personally don’t care about cool, get it together or get in trouble.
Get it together or get in trouble…LOVE that!!!
Ah yes, parenting has definitely shifted. I think it started earlier tho, because how did folks our age forget to parent? At some point the way they were raised had to have been different too, for them to think this whole non-strict thing is ok?
I don’t really know, but I know that I always come across as the super strict parent when it comes to media, sleepovers, playing, toys, and food and I did NOT have strict parents at all. But I am the oldest of four. So maybe I’m rambling us onto a whole other discussion of birth order and how that affects parenting…?
You’re right…this HAS happened in our generation. Maybe we took our parent’s and upbringings for granted…
I’m the oldest as well, and I always saw myself as the guinea pig…but my mom and dad were much stricter with me than my sister who is 9 years younger. I wonder what her view of her upbringing is!!!
LOVE this post, JJ! You always make me think!!!
These verses were written in a card, at one of my baby showers. Both are imprinted on my mind.
Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 20:11
“Even a child is known by his actions. By whether his conduct is pure and right.”
But you’re right-it’s not the children who have changed…it’s the parents.
And I really believe that is all goes back to our generations habit of being busy, occupied and overrun with events, activities and obligations.
There’s simply no time for parents to be parents anymore, sadly.
Wow…I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right…perhaps in our quest to have it all, we’ve failed at being present and real in our “kids” lives. As you know, I long to have children one day, but I can also be caught up in the race…I need to spend time working through this so that I don’t forget it one day!
I definitely think parents have stopped parenting (I’m going to stop there…you know how I get on my rants).
The following link is to a poem my mom had in her “Wit and Wisdom” book (a collection of articles, anecdotes, and the like) when I was growing up, and it has always stuck with me. One day I hope to be “The Meanest Mother”! http://mrmom.amaonline.com/poems/meanestmother.htm
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that!!!
I’m glad my parents wanted to be my parents and not my friends. Friendship with parents if for grown-ups. Thanks goodness they”drugged” me and my sis when we were kids!
Totally agree! My parents were AWESOME…but they were parents. Even today, when we are having fun and hanging together as adults, they let me know when I’ve gone too far. They’re still my parents…and an awesome example!