Join me each week for a series called I’VE GOT THIS FRIEND where I’ll share the funny stories about the people in my life! There are a lot of them and they’re so funny you’ll think I’m making them up, but they’re legit…I promise!
THE OFFICE POOPER
I have a hard time peeing in public.
Call it stage fright, call it a nervous bladder, or don’t call it anything…it’s a delicate issue.
Sometimes, when I’m at the office, I pray to the sweet Lord that I’ll have an empty baño to do my bidness.
I’ve got this
friend coworker, who CLEARLY does not have the same issues as me.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve be trying to get my tinkle on when said individual comes on in and let’s it fly.
There are sound effects that I swear are a joke.
When this deucer get’s going, my freaking shy bladder freezes up like an icicle….even if it’s painfully full.
I start to get nervous and sweat, and then I realize the only option I have is to haul ass out of there and run upstairs to the other ladies room because my business just SHUTS DOWN when she’s in town.
The first time it happened, I was convinced I heard wrong.
I was counting to one hundred with my eyes closed while silently chanting: PEE PEE PEE.
But then she continued with her pronouncements and all chanting stopped.
I had to fake finish, wash my hands, and get the heck out of Dodge.
It has since happened several more times. And I’m convinced I have a coworker with issues that are MUCH WORSE than mine.
PS – WHO ON EARTH DOES THIS?!?!