During our cold California nights, I sleep bundled under a down comforter, which usually causes me to wake up in the middle of the night, sweating my arse off. Because of this, my nightwear of choice is usually just my undies and a pair of socks. It’s sexy up in here, people.
When people tell me that I’ll find love “when I least expect it,” I want to punch them in the face when they least expect it. Seriously, NEVER SAY THIS TO A SINGLE PERSON.
I made the mistake of mentioning to my trainer that my butt looks a little cellulite-y and saggy. Her response was “we’ll work on that,” but what she meant was “let the torture begin!” I’ve been coming home from work every night and soaking in a steaming hot bath. She’s literally become the pain in my ass.
The post of mine that has received the most comments ever (that DIDN’T include a giveaway), was written in about five minutes. Discussing standards in dating apparently strikes a nerve in people. Also, I’m reluctantly becoming a spokesperson for single people…I’d be happy to pass on that title to anyone at any point.
My house is a straight up DISASTER right now. If thieves were to break in they’d just leave, assuming that I’d already been robbed. No seriously…this is how I’ve made my bed all week long:
I google “once in a while” vs. “once and a while” at least once a week. I can NEVER remember which one is correct.
I told a guy recently that I’d never been in love before. His response: “oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for you.” So apparently, that’s not a pick up line.
Someone once told me to look up my own name in Urban Dictionary. It’s become my favorite party trick of late. Seriously, have you done it, yet? HILARIOUS. Then again, I probably only think that because mine was good!
Remember when we used the metallic round brushes to get the Rachel look in the 90s? Well, one time I left the hair dryer on the brush for a little too long and a huge chunk of hair singed right off. I was running late for work, so I just flipped my part the other way and decided to deal with it later. Coworkers kept asking me if something was burning all day long. That was awkward.
A couple of weeks ago, while on the chair lift with my uncle, he made a reference to me being 40. I INDIGNANTLY informed him that I was only 36…he responded with a snort and then I shoved him off the chair lift. Not really…but that totally would have been awesome, right?!
Hi Jen,
The Urban Dictionary is hillarious! Thanks for sharing…and my name is defined equally well, but I can’t help but think that UD is simply trying to suck up so I’ll look for more definitions. I found out that my name is also a nickname for a street drug! Whoo-hoo!
Okay,
First: I love you.
Second: Your bed looks way better than my bed. I don’t make it. Ever.
Third: I sleep in undies, too. It is TOO HOT at all times for clothes.
Forth: Urban Dictionary name looking up? Hilarious! Here’s mine:
Lindsay 2993 up, 816 down
1.a girl who is hotter than the flames of hell
2. the marvelous and mysterious temptress from the land of eternal joy
3. a girl who is smarter than albert einstein but as gorgeous as helen of troy (you know the one whose beauty started the epic war)
4. this girl is in NO way affiliated with Lindsay Lohan. Lohan simply stole this girl’s name.
(My fave is obviously #4).
I LOVE when you do these random posts – seems I always need a good laugh. I’m definitely looking up that dictionary thing. A glutton for giggles, that’s me.
Your second random note made me laugh out loud. Um, yes. Also, as someone who is constantly surprised to be writing about singleness, I like to remind my readers every once in awhile that I’m not the poster child for singleness. Just in case they’ve forgotten.
The Urban Dictionary thing is hilarious! Lots of interesting results, especially since Leigh is a unisex name. The first few results were keepers though!
You are hilarious. Unides and socks is ultra sexy. That’s how I landed my man. Also, I have the same sweat problem, so you are not alone. It was fabulous meeting you on Saturday and I can’t wait to see you at blissdom!