During our cold California nights, I sleep bundled under a down comforter, which usually causes me to wake up in the middle of the night, sweating my arse off. Because of this, my nightwear of choice is usually just my undies and a pair of socks. It’s sexy up in here, people.
When people tell me that I’ll find love “when I least expect it,” I want to punch them in the face when they least expect it. Seriously, NEVER SAY THIS TO A SINGLE PERSON.
I made the mistake of mentioning to my trainer that my butt looks a little cellulite-y and saggy. Her response was “we’ll work on that,” but what she meant was “let the torture begin!” I’ve been coming home from work every night and soaking in a steaming hot bath. She’s literally become the pain in my ass.
The post of mine that has received the most comments ever (that DIDN’T include a giveaway), was written in about five minutes. Discussing standards in dating apparently strikes a nerve in people. Also, I’m reluctantly becoming a spokesperson for single people…I’d be happy to pass on that title to anyone at any point.
My house is a straight up DISASTER right now. If thieves were to break in they’d just leave, assuming that I’d already been robbed. No seriously…this is how I’ve made my bed all week long:
I google “once in a while” vs. “once and a while” at least once a week. I can NEVER remember which one is correct.
I told a guy recently that I’d never been in love before. His response: “oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for you.” So apparently, that’s not a pick up line.
Someone once told me to look up my own name in Urban Dictionary. It’s become my favorite party trick of late. Seriously, have you done it, yet? HILARIOUS. Then again, I probably only think that because mine was good!
Remember when we used the metallic round brushes to get the Rachel look in the 90s? Well, one time I left the hair dryer on the brush for a little too long and a huge chunk of hair singed right off. I was running late for work, so I just flipped my part the other way and decided to deal with it later. Coworkers kept asking me if something was burning all day long. That was awkward.
A couple of weeks ago, while on the chair lift with my uncle, he made a reference to me being 40. I INDIGNANTLY informed him that I was only 36…he responded with a snort and then I shoved him off the chair lift. Not really…but that totally would have been awesome, right?!