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I Can't Sit Still

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so excited about something new that I want to do ALL THE THINGS and do them RIGHT NOW! But I'm also in a season where I realize that slowing down and taking a breather is a good thing. It's Spring and the sun is shining here in Southern California...I need to remind myself to soak it in and experience renewal rather than just relish in the rush of daily life.

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I’M WHO I WANT TO BE

Every now and then, I have an epiphany about life.

I’m not a plotter, planner, or big feelings processor, so when things hit me over the head, I’m always surprised.

I guess that’s the point of epiphanies.

Not too long ago, I was talking with a single girlfriend of mine. We were going back and forth about the trials and tribulations of 30-something singleness and how hard it is to meet good men. The conversation started going down a sad road for her and as upbeat I was, not too much was going to encourage her out of that funk.

Being a solution-oriented person (enneagram type 8, anyone?!), I tried to offer options on how to meet “the one” - most were shot down.

I shared some experiences that to me, felt really fun and social – she wasn’t interested.

Finally, out of the blue, a question popped out of my mouth, “are you even who you want to be before you meet the man of your dreams?” 

And a thought straight up walloped me over the head:

I’m who I want to be.

Somewhere along the way, my family, friendships, work, life experiences, and faith prepared me for this moment. Sure, I’m still single…but I’m ready.

I’ve built a life for myself that I thoroughly enjoy. I’m an entertainer and homemaker. I’m adventurous and fun. I’m romantic and flirtatious. I’m silly and crazy. I care deeply for the people in my life and would do anything to help someone in a bind. I listen and also enjoy a good discussion. I am wise and still learning. I have an open heart.

That moment really surprised me, but I haven’t let the thought slip away. I have been so damn encouraged and I hope all my single sisters are similarly blessed with an epiphany just like this!

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Thanks to the incredible Kelly Sauer for capturing me just as I am (again!)…she stayed at my house while I was in DC, and though I feel cheated because I spent less than 24 hours with her, I am honored that she pulled out her camera for a couple of minutes. Kelly, thank you for sharing your gift with me!!!

Comments

  1. What a great place to be….once we arrive at that place, things do happen. I am living proof. :)

  2. Oh…and GORGEOUS photos! Fantastic photographer but also stunning subject.

  3. We really are in sync today! Love it. Love seeing more of the pictures Kelly took of you. GORGEOUS.

  4. Um, you left out STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

  5. Gorgeous lady! Beautiful realization!

  6. Such a great piece and epiphany. And the photos… WHEW.

  7. Oh this is my favorite. I have just been treasuring the time we *did* have together ever since I got back – I love who you are right now, and how you’re growing, and how much you give without even realizing it. You are such an amazing person with such unexpected softness mixed in with your strength – you blow me away, you really do! Thank you for sharing my pictures – you know I love the love!

  8. Damn straight you are. You are generous, amazing, wise, witty, crazy and comforting all in one package. Not to mention STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL! I love those pictures of you; I kinda want to make make that first one my screen saver so I can just stare at you for a while and smile.

    This is a beautiful epiphany.

  9. Centsational Girl says:

    YOU are beautiful inside and out, loved this post!
    ~ Kate

  10. I LOVE every single word of this. And every gorgeous picture, too. You rock.

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